Written on Black Friday at the mall on a bench outside Cinnabon.
Side Effects of Christmas:
- Fits of joy
- Random singing & laughter
- Urges to bake or give things to strangers
- Uncontrollable shopping sprees
- Urges to die
- Intense anger
- Spontaneous death of self or others
- Temporary loss of judgement
- Poor clothing choices
- Weight gain or loss
- Spike in your need to watch Lifetime or The Family Channel
- Excessive picture-taking
- Loss of time
- Sitting for long periods of time alone on a mall bench wondering why it is we do this again… followed by a Cinnabon.
Red flag shopping warning signs:
- Uttering to yourself more than 3 times in a day, “Man, I must be old.”
- Sympathizing with the forlorn kiosk people
- Falling for their “Can I ask you a question?” cuz you just can’t walk any further
- Wishing you were the kid asleep in the stroller.
Please feel free to add your own.
© Michelle Routhieaux 2011