Rules About How the World Works

I wrote these rules back in September. There are many of them I don’t subscribe to anymore and fight actively every day, but these are the rules that make up the foundation to who I am and why I do what I do.

9/12/09

Rules About How the World Works

  • Trust no one.
  • No one is safe.
  • Everyone wants something from you.
  • You will lose everything.
  • You deserved none of it.
  • No one can save you, not even God.
  • Only you can save yourself and usually even you can’t.
  • People die.
  • Don’t get attached (or attacked).
  • You are not now and will never be good enough. Yet you will spend your life trying to be perfect.
  • No one really cares about you.
  • Get over it.
  • It’s always your fault.
  • You are not allowed to get angry or say “No.” You are a bad person if you do this.
  • Taking care of you should be avoided at all cost. Others are more important. You can wait.
  • Men are evil and unsafe, the root of the world’s problems.
  • You should always be (or appear) happy. It’s not okay to feel bad. Depression is a sin. So is anger.
  • Never question the preacher, teacher, person of authority. They are RIGHT, whether they are or not.
  • It’s my responsibility to deal with the victim but I’m not allowed to confront the attacker. (helping & helpless)
  • It’s not okay to have my own opinion if it’s different than hers or theirs.
  • If I speak out or stand up for myself, I will lose everything. (Mom)
  • As long as I please people I will be safe and feel love, be treated well.
  • I’m only worthy if I am successful and important, have power.
  • People hate needy people.
  • Being “needy” is not okay.
  • Most people really don’t care about me.
  • Money CAN buy a little happiness and a LOT of power.
  • Without money, you are nothing and no one.
  • People are often much happier knowing nothing or next to nothing about you than the truth.
  • There are no atheists in foxholes.
  • Church can be Heaven or Hell depending on who’s preaching and who’s singing.
  • Take everything free you can get, even if you don’t need it.
  • Never pass up a sale.
  • Always answer the phone.
  • It’s okay to be late as long as you apologize profusely and bring food.
  • Pretending to love someone you hate is very difficult. Pretending to hate someone you love is even harder.
  • You can’t buy your way into or bribe a true friendship.
  • It is possible to say “I love you” too much.
  • Keep your emergency info in order.
  • Pay attention to your receipts.
  • Shred everything.
  • Keep everything you don’t shred or throw out. Even if you don’t want it now, you might in 10 years.
  • The holidays suck. Spend them sleeping, dancing or doing something you enjoy.
  • There is no such thing as a happy family.
  • Never buy milk for $2 when you could drive halfway across town & get it for $1.99.
  • I am never equal, either above or below another person, or often just separate.
  • I have no control over other people, but what they do greatly affects me.
  • Red nail polish & lipstick are reserved for hookers. (Mom & Estergren)
  • High heels are for adults-only.
  • Sex is nasty and evil.
  • A dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s. (Grandma)
  • Be tough. Don’t cry.
  • Your opinion doesn’t matter.
  • You don’t count.
  • Christmas & birthdays are about the presents & guilt.
  • Work the system until you get what you want. If it won’t give, find another system.
  • You don’t deserve to have what you want so hold on tight before you lose it.
  • I am entitled to greatness, the very best & nothing less.
  • Being crazy gives me meaning.
  • I was put on this Earth for a purpose.
  • God is testing me with this suffering to teach me something.
  • I am damaged.

It is easier for me to believe that I’m damaged and there must be something horribly wrong with me than to acknowledge that the world is out of my control and I am powerless to stop it.

  • Skinny is good & fat is bad, but skinny is mean and fat is happy.
  • You can never be thin enough.
  • My heartbeat will always be there for me.
  • Doctors are not usually all that brilliant or even nice.
  • Assuming people care about you or expecting them to is dangerous.
  • Take chances and risks, but know that you WILL get burned.
  • The safe way is not always the fun or right way to go.
  • You can do anything you want, as long as you can keep a secret.
  • Become good at lying. You’ll need it.
  • Go straight to the top. Don’t bother with the middle men. They just bullshit you and make your life Hell.
  • Children learn what they live.
  • There’s always someone watching or listening.
  • There are people out there you don’t even know who know you and like you more than you like yourself. (OC Fair girl)
  • Always use a coupon.
  • If your food is bad, send it back.
  • Don’t expect anyone to know what you want or need. Tell them.
  • Music heals.
  • So does dance.
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