2-12-15     5:30pm

Day 18. I think I’m getting better. Today I realized I haven’t been harassed by an electrical outlet in days. I don’t even want to die 24/7 today. What a concept. I even danced in my room. I admit I did it because it was part of my homework, but I did it. I’ve been working closely with my doctor here and with a therapist.

I’m having trouble concentrating. There aren’t many thoughts in my head right now but the ones that are are being diverted by Comedy Central blaring behind me and the sound of my fingernails on the keyboard. Mom’s coming tonight. I keep thinking it’s Friday and that there’s an OCD group tonight. Neither are true. It is, apparently, almost Valentine’s Day though. Not that it matters. One day after Friday the 13th.

I’d like to write something helpful here or even somewhat coherent, but I don’t really see that happening. (deep breath) Oh, how I long for the sound of quiet. I’m hoping I’m allergic to someone’s perfume or something else here and not to my new medication. I can barely breathe through my nose and my head and ears hurt but I don’t have a cold. I’ve also been getting migraines and having eye pain every day. Today was definitely better than the past few.

What I’m looking forward to:

• Playing with Ellie at dog beach
• Getting my nails done
• Sleeping in my own bed (first time I can say that!)
• Holding the girls
• Watching NCIS
• Seeing Soleil
• Eating at CBW
• Using my BackJack
• Having a computer all to myself
• Going to Possum Trot
• Visiting Auntie
• Driving
• Going to church
• Gospel Choir

Feels good to look forward to something positive. I can’t recall the time I was able to do that last. Praise the Lord for Dr. M and D- and my mama. Here’s to more posts in the near future with substance and grace.

© Michelle Routhieaux 2015