I can’t fix it. No matter how hard I try. I am only worthy if I can fix it. Therefore I am worthless. I can’t fix it. I can’t.
Today my heart feels like it’s on fire. There’s no oxygen left and I’m suffocating. I went outside because my toes were numb from the cold. Dichotomy of lives. I had planned on Black Friday shopping. Instead I am here with my family. The guys are working. Mom’s raiding the house for stuff to send back. I’m not going with them. J- is close to starving. G’s house is infested with rats and mice and God knows what else. There is no money. There are few jobs. No hope. My heart, it hurts so bad. I love them and I can’t fix it… I can’t fix it.
© Michelle Routhieaux 2010
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