9-7-14  4:23pm

Thank God for maggots. 

I’m sitting in El Pollo Loco. I finally got food. I’ve been full of anger for a week now and today I broke. I spent two hours pouring sweat at Irma’s fighting maggots and flies. I called Mom and she Googled for me. At first I felt bad killing them. Then it was oddly relieving feeling their tiny bodies crush beneath my thumb, like bubble wrap.

In case you’re wondering, Windex, Simple Green, and Raid don’t kill maggots. I settled for boiling water. It was nasty. But I did it. I’m falling asleep.

As I turned into Dixieline to buy fly tape I broke down. I parked and sobbed and wailed. It felt good. What about crying makes eyes look glassy?

I emailed Colleen back. It’s really nice of her to reach out. I want to write to Dr. H but I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to scare her or look too sane, but there are things I need her to know.

(falling asleep)

I don’t know why I’m sleepy.

© Michelle Routhieaux 2014