Cold Ketchup & Toilet Seats

5-26-10                 1:41am

So I’ve been wondering for probably a week now just why we keep ketchup in the fridge. Maybe it’s just in my house, but we keep all our condiments in the fridge. Even those ones that need no refrigeration. And while I’m fine with most things being cold, ketchup is not one of them. When I eat a hot dog, I’d like to actually taste the hot dog and not be thrown off by cold ketchup. Yes, I eat ketchup on hot dogs. Get over it. I also don’t like cold hot sauce. It’s just wrong. It doesn’t make any sense. I can’t taste the sauce. I just taste the cold. And I can’t even taste what I’m putting it on. I guess if I’m trying not to taste the food that’s good, but I generally like to taste what I eat.

I’ve also been wondering about toilet seats and the battle to get guys to put them down. Just why are they lifted in the first place? That’s a pretty big hole to be aiming at. I imagine it’s kind of like crayons or target practice. You start with a big target and eventually, as you get better, the target or the crayon gets smaller. But it doesn’t seem to work this way for toilet seats. Why? Why can a man who has been peeing for say 15 years or so not get that tiny stream of pee into that big hole? I can’t imagine how tall a guy would have to be to have a stream of pee so large it couldn’t be reasonably directed into the hole of a standard toilet seat. What’s the deal? Really. I can see lifting the lid to vomit. When you’re sick or drunk what comes out of your mouth can be unpredictable. But not pee. What’s the deal? Really.

© Michelle Routhieaux 2010

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